So, you think I am nuts?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Lin Die-Nasty ( chapter wat? oh yes, chapter 17)

Please refer to Simple American for those previous chapters as I am too excited to start with this project .


All hell broke loose.

The explosion was so great that Humpy was thrown back upstairs and his body just lied motionless. His clothes were ripped to pieces and his face was disfigured badly. Burns were everywhere on his pathetic body exposing raw fleshes with bits of his intestines oozing out from the puncture at his stomach.

Humpy? Humpy? Father Fan shook Humpy's motionless body.

Yes, Humpy died an instant death.

It took everyone minutes to recover from the shock. There was pandemonium downstairs. They rushed down to see what had happened. To their horror, bodies were thrown everywhere on the floor, women were crying, people were looking for their missing loved ones. It was a bomb blast.

Time stood still. The once holy place of worship had been turned into a war zone. Why would anyone want to bomb the house of God? Who is responsible for such brutal act?

In the midst of the rumbles , through those thick smoke, a figure appeared at the entrance of which was once the door of the church. It was a woman. A kinda familiar face . Father Fan recognised her.

Despite his age, Father was able to recognise her instantly, thanks to the gingko biloba pills that he had been diligently consuming daily. She is the new member of his weekly suicidal counseling group.

Father Fan remembers the day she joined his therapy group.

(Reminiscing back to the first day she opened up and started sharing her anguish, her pain and suffering brought upon her by her husband).

You see, Ah Siao was the perfect wife any man could have. She could be a
demure lady but yet a wildcat in the bedroom. She had everything in life until one day, her husband lost everything to the Lin (illegal)Casino. With so much debt and the Ah Longs coming after her plus the "soi lou" running off, Ah Siao had no choice but to work for Untie Lin ( who at that time was also running a brothel). Initially, Untie Lin( the 2 headed bitch) was"kind" to her but over the weeks, things turned ugly. Untie Lin would advertise that Ah Siao specialises in SM(kinky sex) and soon, men flocked from all over,even from the neighbouring country to have a "taste" of Ah Siao's specialty. She was repeatedly kinkied day and night. Sales soared all time high. Ah Siao suffered. She lost herself, lost the hope of living and finally lost her mind.

A loud shout woke Father Fan from his reminiscence.

"Don't you all move"
" Look, I am not not crazy, I mean it"

That siao woman, who was dressed in purple turtleneck with a tight green leggings, so tight that it emphasized her thunder thighs, and with multi colored eye shadows which were so heavy that her eyes were drowned in those hellish unmatching colors had a device in her hand. It was a small black matchbox with a red bleeping light.

" I want those papers"
Everyone was just dumbfounded.

"I want those papers N_O_W"
And yet, no one moved an inch.

SHe flipped open the right side of her yellow coat and exposed a set of bombs strapped up at her waist. "tick, tock, tick, tock...the bomb was clicking"

"I will blow myself together with all of you if you don't pass me the document"

"Ah Siao, calm down....please
" You must be hungry and tired...come join Father for a pao and tea"

"Father, you siao I also not yet siao".
"Gimme the god damn papers NOW or I will......( Ah Siao was threatening to press the button to ignite the bomb)

Just as King's Wife handed the document to Ah Siao,

"clap...clap...clap"..hahahahaha, a cunning laughter echoed.
"Good job, Siao Cha did not disappoint me"

They all turned towards the clapping sound and saw a man emerging from a Mercedes SLX and it was none other than .............................

whoa tired already....who shall i pass tis to ah?
9394 at don't kill me ah


  • At 10:27 PM, Blogger JoMel said…

    *CLAP CLAP CLAP* Ah Siao... I give you my home made Pukilitzer award for such a sterling performance as the Siao bomber! Well done! Well done!!!

    I wonder what's in the document! Aiyooo... so kan cheong lah.. can 9394 finally get into the document ah??


  • At 11:17 PM, Blogger may said…

    wahhh, SCB... you can really write one siao chapter! LOL! the green leggings and multi-coloured eyeshadows are a nice touch.

    ohmygosh! has the baton finally been passed on to 9393(formerly known as 9394)? foooiihh!!!

  • At 12:10 AM, Blogger fishtail said…

    I won't be surprised if the guy coming out of the smoke from the Merc SLX is the Lai Foong beef noodles stall boss. I kinda guess he must have been making tons of money all these years.

  • At 1:46 AM, Blogger Cocka Doodle said…

    SCB....this so tame compared to what you've initiated in your humsap koochai. That one really made my nose bleed.

    I am disappointed....**cocka shakes head**

  • At 1:48 AM, Blogger L B said…

    Excellent!! Can dig this Action Thriller!! Good details, great atmosphere, tight storyline! Impressive.. but what happened to the jade gate, ah?

  • At 4:20 AM, Blogger Simple American said…

    Jade Gate can wait until another author finds the golden key L B. ;)

    Wow. So surprising. Very good job SCB. You did not disappoint. What could happen next?


  • At 6:41 AM, Blogger Siao Cha Bor said…

    aiya, u all so encouraging ,tq tq courtsey* courtsey*

    this part is especially for old cock,

    to my dear cock,
    humsap koochai ah....wait la..sabar...nanti i bagi realli stim wan...releks, drink tea and eat a yip tze mei pao first la

  • At 10:45 AM, Blogger Bkworm said…

    aiyoh, you are so damn good! - thunder thighs and kinky sex! *clap! clap! clap! standing ovation!

  • At 1:53 PM, Blogger Nine3 Nine 3 said…

    aiyoooo aiyooooo
    I think i need at least 3 days 3 night just to read all the chapter

    Got so many names untill I sor sor jor

    helen Chicken women
    chicken man

    this one like the chinese noval- The romance of 3 kingdom

    talk here and talk there
    maybe i bring the story to Iraq location

  • At 5:08 PM, Blogger Zara's Mama said…

    Wah.. Ah Siao.. who who?? Who drives the Mercedez SLX?

    The soh-kai (siao chicken)ah?

    You also good huh? To write the story..

    *clap clap clap*

  • At 6:12 PM, Blogger Siao Cha Bor said…

    acerly, the clue is mercedes clx
    if u can go back to a certain chapter, there is a mercedes clx in one scene

  • At 9:01 PM, Blogger 5xmom said…

    Die ler, I think I need to back to Chapter One and start searching for the merc.
    This message for Lin Peh:

    Lin Peh hor, that day I notice a lot of blogger who signed up with your blog, so can try to include them soon? Like Marverick, cyber-red, gbyeow just to name a few. If not hor, really kesian them if they have to go to chapter 100 to read back.

  • At 1:52 AM, Blogger Nine3 Nine 3 said…

    Please give me by this sunday.kind of busy.Thanks

  • At 11:35 AM, Blogger King's wife said…

    U related to Ah Siao or not??
    Shit, forgotten who was Humpy. Had to go back to previous chapter.
    Good job again!!

  • At 1:45 PM, Anonymous gbyeow said…

    KNN 9393. Faster la. If not afterwards I put you on my forfeit list then you know. lol.

  • At 5:07 PM, Blogger Ah Pek said…

    die lor! i totally forgotten about the story already! still going on meh? what happened to unke lin and his 4 sons?

  • At 12:04 PM, Blogger sengkor said…

    i know who come out from the merz. is ah piao. another new character.

  • At 12:08 PM, Blogger Lin Peh said…

    KNN....u really siao !

    5xmom: Soli Lin Peh no control of who's next to write because of democrazy system. But sure those names mentioned will be getting their chance soon ;-)

  • At 3:49 PM, Blogger Siao Cha Bor said…

    9393, faster continue the story la

    if not ah, my blog kena hijack by these people la

    cepat la

  • At 1:06 PM, Blogger Fantasy "Sticky" Flier said…

    soli too late, your blog already kena hijack by those ppl liao, you forever now known as Jane da Bomb....

    *claps claps* well done on another fantastic chapter!

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