So, you think I am nuts?

Friday, March 31, 2006

Monthly Bills

I never believed that PMS exists. Now, I do. Well, besides the craving for a certain food, the emotion swings like a pendulum. Yesterday was great; with all the food accompanying me ending with a sinful supper of satay and nasi lemak AGAIN.

Funny, 2 different people brought up the same topic at a 2 hour interval which deeply affected my thoughts. I brushed it aside though. Oh, it was nothing bad about me but the topic made me "tak shiok" somehow. I managed to douse it with my satay and nasi.

I thought by today, it would go away. It did not. It is like a needle piercing me and I can't get rid of it. Plus, another touchy subject that embraced me late this afternoon, I am now succumbing to my not-so-good mood. I would love to blame it on the poor PMS management. Hopefully, by tomorrow I will be back to Ah Siao. Perhaps, a drink or two will help ease my mind. I don't like to feel sane...this is not ME. I want my insanity back.


By the way, I only had a Happy Meal today. You think perhaps its the sudden decrease of food intake that contributed to the mood swing?


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I am so ashamed! Been around for 3 decades and YET.....I did not know there are so many types of cups in bras. Tsk tsk tsk....I have shamed the female species.

The hunt was not on food today. It was on bra. Did you know that there are so many types of cup? Ranging from full cup, 1/2 cup, 3/4 cup , french cut cup, party bras, soft cup, underwired, and bla bla bla. Did you know that a 1/2 cup bra gives a different result from a 3/4 cup bra ? I didn't. But, now I do.

Different cups make different Wonders. Man, I tell you, what miracles they do for you. I have found the answer to deepen the" longkang susu" already. Thanks to my research. If I knew the existance of such bras, I wouldnt have made a fuss about it last week.

Today, women are so spoilt for choice. T shirt bras, french lace bras, wonder bras, halter bras maximizer bras, you name it, they have it. Thanks to Research and Development, the bra companies are able to provide us with such beautiful creations which enhances our breasts . A little lift to the solo papaya makes a great difference. Probably boost our confidence too.

So, did I end up buying?


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I am going to fix a drink now. I shall blog and rant if I am still around.

Makan Day

My day started fruitfully . Remember my food crazee swings? Well, I was told that the foodcourt at Dataran Maybank is good for Malay food. I was around the area so I checked the place out. It didn't look as great as it sounded, so I would strike off the place to conquer.

My second shot was at Rebung. It is a nicely tucked away restaurant serving authentic Malay food from Rembau prepared by Chef Ismail. It was 11.00am but what the heck, I decided to do some investigating before I sacrifice my tummy and succumb to my desire.

The aroma of fresh curry filled the little place as I walked into the restaurant. I asked the waiter about the restaurant . He signaled the person in charge to attend to me. Frankly, I just wanted to find out what type of food they serve. Speaking to anyone will do but nooooooo......He, the manager, came out personally to attend to me. He must have thought I was some big fish. Could he have thought I was a Datin ah? Today, I felt "chio chio hiao hiao" so I dressed in my kurung. No la! I am only an ikan bilis ( the smallest and cheapest breed). Anyway, he was friendly and his gaze was mesmerising. I definitely have to makan there and it has got to be as quick as possible because I worry my desire for Malay food will fade.

My mini orgasm for the day was at Devi's Corner. I just had to have it. Yes....lunch was briyani with mutton masala, saffron cabbage, sambal siao cha bor and ayam goreng. The "handsome" who served me told me to visit Devi's Corner in the morning. Mmmmm... I thought, "Saya kejer pagi, you mari pagi la", he said. Aiyer....notti . Like that pun boleh ka? I looked at him and said, " nasi ini bukan saya sajer yang makan, 3 orang makan punya la." It is true, ok. I shared with 2 other person. I went home with the tarr pao, and dug in the rice with my hand. Fucking damn chuuuun. The spicyness, the hot weather and the smell of Indian spice.....wah...syok, syok, syok. I know Lilian gonna say,"last nite she felt Malayish, today Indianish pulak". My right fingers smell of masala mutton.

For dinner, I had assam pedas ikan pari ( stingray) with pineapple. Damn again.

The above post was written at about 11pm when I was called for duty. I just came back from my On-call duty . It has been an aggressive night. CHaaaam! I had to walk kaki kangkang to my room and had trouble taking the stairs. Nearly "phok kai". People don't name me Siao DBKL truck for nothing, you know.

Hari ini saya sudah dosa. Besok mesti puasa. You think I can manage my fasting till lunchtime?

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Shiokalingam!



Yes...oh yes..more....oh...oh...yes...yes....oh my..please.......more ......oh...yes( bang the table)..............yes( bang the head)....oooooooooh!

Remember this scene in the movie "When Harry met Sally" ? Sally ( Meg Ryan) was having an orgasm( fake) while having her sandwich with Harry (Billy Crystal). Now, twist the story a little and pretend that the sandwich was THAT great to give her such pleasure.

It was 8.00am this morning. It happened in a hut. The hut had many men...taxi drivers, actually. And the main character was NASI LEMAK. I was contented with the hunt. Actually, I had the crave since last Saturday after " jogetting" session but I just could not find the RIGHT nasi lemak and the desire grew stronger and stronger as the days went by until I sent an SOS 2 nights ago asking for a good nasi lemak place.

Thanks to all the contributions. I shall try each place when possible.

I had a tester with me this morning. We headed for the hut at Sri Hartamas like bulldogs, frothing saliva oozing out from the corner of our mouths. It was a row of mamak-like stalls near the T junction of Sri Hartamas, opposite the Petronas gas station. Most of the patrons are taxi drivers. We headed for the first stall where we could mix and match the "lauk". By the way, all of the stalls served bungkus nasi lemak. My source told me that this particular stall ( the one closest to the link houses) serves the best nasi. And so, I ordered a "biasa" tambah daging and ayam goreng and a teh tarik. Tsk...tsk...tsk...such a sin in the early morning. My tester had a "biasa" with sambal kerang, ayam goreng and milo ais. Total cost was Rm11.

The steamy santan rice was ultimate. Not too soft, not to chewy. It was just right. Somehow, the feeling of the rice grain in my mouth mixed with the sweet sambal belachan made me (s)excited. Each bite of the sambal belachan entering my mouth made me pant and sweat. The dilated blood vessels in my body sent shock waves which gave multiple explosions. It was damn gooooood! And the place was RIGHT for a cuisine like this one. Not too clean, not to dirty...just the right atmosphere for the dish. Contented for today. Let's see when the next "ki siao" for nasi lemak mode comes again.

But now, I have something in mind. TOMYAM! Where can I get good tomyam ? I prefer to try it out at the Malay stalls instead of Thai restaurants. Oh, oh, I am into authentic kampung dishes as well. Anyone tried "Tupai-Tupai" and "Rebung" before? "Tupai-Tupai" is located a stone's throw from the Istana while "Rebung" is next to the Mango Tree Restaurant in Bangsar.

Suddenly I feel like "Orked", the girl in "Sepet". I guess I can always hide my extra tyres in the baju kurung huh?

Monday, March 27, 2006

100th Post

Today's post marks 100. Started out in September 2005, I slowly gained confident in writing, brushed up on my rusty English Language and collected fans/ friends throughout the past 7 months. And the least expected was to have the opportunity to meet up with some bloggers.

I am ever grateful to the person who introduced the blogging world to me. You know who you are. Thank you very much. Over the 7 months, I also have gained a steady group of "siao porr" and "siao kang" fans. Some siao comments, humsap ones and hearty ones really kept me in touch with the world. Before, I thought I was a fraction of the only few crazy and humsap people around. I thank god that I have met worse cases than me, which reassures me that I am not the only siao being around. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all your support.

No oscars needed, no angpows or dinner receptions please. I am glad that I survived the 100th post and will continue to write till I find the first strand of platinum hair in my

>

>

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Cabai




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I have an urge.
It will give me wild orgasmic pleasures if I could get hold of it.
My weakness.
Can anyone tell me where I can get hold of a nice , warm, hot and spicy NASI LEMAK?


I got to have it .
I must have it.
My desire is peaking.
You got to help me.
Please, please, please.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Joget

One bottle of Jack Daniels for Rm310.50

2 of us whacked half the bottle from 1030pm - 3am

joget, dangdut, footloose, hangloose, let loose

nasi lemak, maggi mee goreng, ais limau, teh ais for supper

home by 430am


venue: trekking at the Jungle again!

But, it was fun! The ah Bengs next table to us could not even keep up with our cardio workout.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Longkang Susu

Some may say cute
Some say small
Some say just right
Some will not even look

I have tried in vain the whole week
I pressed them
Squeezed them together with all my might
I even sucked in my breath

"Wonder"ring high and low
"Maximize" ing my time to search
but I failed to find the right push up BRA

Tell me how la
to construct the longkang deeper as
I have to fit into my bitchy top this weekend.


Signed,
DIstressed Solo Papaya


Ps. No reconstructive surgery and bicycle pumps, please.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Night Jungle Trekking

It was exhausting. I have to admit, my old auntie bones "lao kok kok" ( old) already. I guess Anlene milk is a must to prepare myself for further workout.

The trekking started at about 10.30pm last nite and lasted till 3am. Before we embarked on the hunting journey, my trekking partner and I stopped over at Ozeki, a Japanese eating place to fill our tummies before the hunt began. For better blood circulation and preparation for the trek, we had "sake" to go with supper.

Finally, at 10.30pm, we headed for the jungle. It was a concrete jungle. By the time we reached the entrance, people were swamping the scene. The venue was one of those places supporting the Sepang F1 race today. Those Ferrari promoters were Hot and Slzzling. Cover charge of Rm35 included a drink. I had Rum n Coke which tasted like water.

And so, we trekked and trekked, looking for a nice spot to park ourselves. Oh my, have you guessed where the jungle is? Yea, none other than Rum Jungle. I am so fresh* and naive* to life after dark that I have many thanks to my trekking partner taking time to expose* me to the harsh night environment. And last night was an introduction to many more to cum **smiling cunningly**

The music was ok. All in all, we had rum n coke, a jug of beer and pina colada. The night was still young but I noticed a few KO cases and most of them were girls. Very young girls. There was a scene which caught my attenttion. This pretty young thing was totally wasted before the party began. Totally wasted! Her friends left her sitting at a chair away from the scene. Occasionally a friend would come check on her. But the fact was , she was wasted and she could get herself into trouble not even knowing what really happened to her and the fact that her friends left her alone for awhile was already an invitation to an unfortunate "accident". She caught my attention because my partner and I were playing hunting game. We looked out for hotchicks for him and cute guys for me . What a pity. The party had just begun and she was already talking to "zhou gong". Sigh! Too bad. If not, I would have encouraged my partner to approach her.

After my second glass of beer, I tried doing some cardio workout . The faster the music beat, the faster the cardio exercise went, the hotter the body gyrated. Yea...calories burning; good for me. Mmmm....I was thinking to myself, can I ask for a refund from California Fitness because it was more fun working out at the jungle than the gym. Yeah! The liveband came on and from then on, we dangdut all the way till 3am non stop.

A few kwailous were standing next to our table. Suddenly, 2 "social escorts" came over, leaning sexily to them, whispering "something" to them. After some negotiations, she managed to strike a deal and off they went for their own "dangduting".

You see, our table was located at the second floor overlooking the whole dancing area and our back was facing the washrooms. Thank god the stench was kept to a minimal. We had a great view from our table, both the front and the back. As we looked in front, we could see the liveband, as we looked behind we could see girls with plunging neckline from above. Imagine the shapes and sizes of " longkangs" we could see.

Way past midnight but I still had my glass slippers intact and my trekking partner did not turn into a mouse. We saw many girls getting drunk, girls falling off the dancing area and girls vomitting in the basin. It was truly a lesson to me. A lesson which I hope would be helpful in dealing with young adults It was an eye opener. To see how young people act, where they hang out and who are their friends.

The trekking ended at 3am. My bonese were still intact, knees not wobbly and vision still good. This morning my body did not even ache a little. I guess I passed the test. I am still waiting for my trekking trainer to issue a Certificate for me.

And guess what my next target will be? Yea, yea, yea....Kickboxing , here I come.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Back from Recuperation!

Aaaahhh......it is good to be back after a good night's sleep which is equivalent to a non-stop flight from KL to LA. What had made me so tired, so drained out, so exhausting and heart palpitating?

The meeting plus the tarr pao were too energy draining. I need to recharge my batteries.

(Reminiscing back to Thursday 16th March 2006)


I had a blind date with a few good men and a few good women somewhere in town. I braved the rain and the horrendous traffic to be at the secret rendezvous. After some commotion, I finally managed to find the meeting room. The minute I opened the door, few heads turned and looked at me with such blank expression. I scanned the room and decided to take a seat next to a gentleman. I did not have a chance to observe him closely but his sleek body build was enough to make me shiver.

Needless to say, those agents who attended this meeting would know who I am referring to. I never expected him to be so...so........mmmmm. I am not going into detail about the dinner meeting as you can get a good account from the other agents.

Because I was seated in between 2 gentlemen, I had the pleasure of being pampered. They really took care of me. The one sitting on my right was young, energetic, colorful and sweet. The one sitting on my left was caring, kind and generous. The guy sitting opposite me made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

All in all there were 11 agents. The only word I can describe the ladies is "sporting". Thumbs up for the ladies. The men were ....er.......er.....whats the word again.....I forgot but yes the guys were...........

I had real fun. An outcome that I had not expected to be. I never regretted going. From the age of 20s to the 50s, we fused together and made a lot of noises....wild animal noises ( just like the photos shown at rojaks). The highlight, at least for me, was of course, me and the sweet eligible guy sitting on my right being an item. My assignment was to educate him about the birds and the bees . Such difficult task but as friend, I had to help him.

With all the support that I got from my fellow members, I felt it was my duty to get him ready for his "coming of age". The duration at the meeting was too short; I had to bungkus, tarr pao, take-away and continue after dinner ended. Thus, you all know, the reason for my recuperation for 2 nights. I am no Demi Moore. Age is definitely catching up on me. It was not easy at all. The perseverance, the sweat, the heat , the replays, the energy, the scolding, the beating; I surrender ! I had to issue a certificate with honours.

But the funniest thing was, my eyes roamed the room and caught on to "someone" who really touched my heart I can't say any further. With 10 intelligent agents putting your heads together, I am sure you are able to guess who this agent is.


I had fun with you all. It was worth the meet up.

I better go for extra recharging because tonight there is going to be another round of merry makan minum mania with the Crazy Drinker.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Lin Die-Nasty ( chapter wat? oh yes, chapter 17)

Please refer to Simple American for those previous chapters as I am too excited to start with this project .

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Continue................................

All hell broke loose.

The explosion was so great that Humpy was thrown back upstairs and his body just lied motionless. His clothes were ripped to pieces and his face was disfigured badly. Burns were everywhere on his pathetic body exposing raw fleshes with bits of his intestines oozing out from the puncture at his stomach.

Humpy? Humpy? Father Fan shook Humpy's motionless body.

Yes, Humpy died an instant death.

It took everyone minutes to recover from the shock. There was pandemonium downstairs. They rushed down to see what had happened. To their horror, bodies were thrown everywhere on the floor, women were crying, people were looking for their missing loved ones. It was a bomb blast.

Time stood still. The once holy place of worship had been turned into a war zone. Why would anyone want to bomb the house of God? Who is responsible for such brutal act?

In the midst of the rumbles , through those thick smoke, a figure appeared at the entrance of which was once the door of the church. It was a woman. A kinda familiar face . Father Fan recognised her.

Despite his age, Father was able to recognise her instantly, thanks to the gingko biloba pills that he had been diligently consuming daily. She is the new member of his weekly suicidal counseling group.

Father Fan remembers the day she joined his therapy group.

(Reminiscing back to the first day she opened up and started sharing her anguish, her pain and suffering brought upon her by her husband).

You see, Ah Siao was the perfect wife any man could have. She could be a
demure lady but yet a wildcat in the bedroom. She had everything in life until one day, her husband lost everything to the Lin (illegal)Casino. With so much debt and the Ah Longs coming after her plus the "soi lou" running off, Ah Siao had no choice but to work for Untie Lin ( who at that time was also running a brothel). Initially, Untie Lin( the 2 headed bitch) was"kind" to her but over the weeks, things turned ugly. Untie Lin would advertise that Ah Siao specialises in SM(kinky sex) and soon, men flocked from all over,even from the neighbouring country to have a "taste" of Ah Siao's specialty. She was repeatedly kinkied day and night. Sales soared all time high. Ah Siao suffered. She lost herself, lost the hope of living and finally lost her mind.

A loud shout woke Father Fan from his reminiscence.


"Don't you all move"
" Look, I am not not crazy, I mean it"

That siao woman, who was dressed in purple turtleneck with a tight green leggings, so tight that it emphasized her thunder thighs, and with multi colored eye shadows which were so heavy that her eyes were drowned in those hellish unmatching colors had a device in her hand. It was a small black matchbox with a red bleeping light.

" I want those papers"
Everyone was just dumbfounded.

"I want those papers N_O_W"
And yet, no one moved an inch.

SHe flipped open the right side of her yellow coat and exposed a set of bombs strapped up at her waist. "tick, tock, tick, tock...the bomb was clicking"

"I will blow myself together with all of you if you don't pass me the document"

"Ah Siao, calm down....please
" You must be hungry and tired...come join Father for a pao and tea"

"Father, you siao I also not yet siao".
"Gimme the god damn papers NOW or I will......( Ah Siao was threatening to press the button to ignite the bomb)

Just as King's Wife handed the document to Ah Siao,

"clap...clap...clap"..hahahahaha, a cunning laughter echoed.
"Good job, Siao Cha Bor...you did not disappoint me"

They all turned towards the clapping sound and saw a man emerging from a Mercedes SLX and it was none other than .............................


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whoa tired already....who shall i pass tis to ah?
9394 at don't kill me ah

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

counting lehbits

Again. It has been awhile since I last slept so late. The owls have gone looking for food, the bats too. The snakes, creepy crawlies, vampires , pontianaks also can't care less about me ranting here.
What am I doing here at this hour?

What shall I count tonight?

But first, let me get my codeine.

When I stop the count, you will know I am knocked out.

Now, let's begin.

What shall it be tonight? Bears? Sheep? Ah yes...lehbits.

Shall we?

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1 lehbit,2 lehbit,3 lehbit,4 lehbit, 5 lehbit, 6 lehbit, 7 lehbit, 8 lehbit, 9 lrhbit, 10 lehbit, 11 lehbit,12 lehbit, 13 lehbit, 14 lehbit, 15 le3hbit, 16 lehbit, 17 lehbit, 18 lehbit, 19 lehbit, 20 lehbit, 21 lehbit, 22 lehbit, 23 lehbit, 24 lehbit, 25 lehbit, 26 lehbit, 27 lehbit, 28 lehbit, 29 lehbit, 30lehbit, 31 lehbit, 32 lehbit, 33 lehbit, 34 lehibt, 35 lehbit, 36 lehbit, 37 lehbit, 38lehbit, 39 lehbit, 40 lehbit, 41 ehbit, 42 lehbit, 43 lehbit, 44 lehbit, 45 lehbit, 46 lehbit, 47 lehbit, 48 lehbit, 49 lehbit, 50 lehbit, 51 lehbit, 52 lehbit, 53 lehbit, 54 lehbit, 55 lehbit, 56 lehbit, 57 lehbit, 58 lrhbit, 59 lehbit, 60 lehbit, 61;;ehbit, 62 lehbit, 63 lehbit, 64 lehbit, 65 lehbit, 66 lehbit, 67 lehbit, 68 lehbit, 69 lehbit, 70 lehbit, 71 lehbit, 72 lehbit, 73 lehbit, 74 lehbit, 75 lehbit, 76 lehbit, 77 lehbit, 78 lehbit, 79 lehbit, 80 lrhbit, 81 lehebit, 82 lehbit, 83 lehbit, 84 lehbit, 85 lehbit, 86 lehbit, 87 lehbit, 88 lrhbit, 89 lehbit,90 lehbit, 91 lehbit, 92 lehbit, 93 lehbit, 94 lehbit, 95 lehbit, 96 lehbit, 97 lehbit, 98 lehbit, 99 lehbit,100 lehbit

aiyo, still cannot

any wise suggestions?

Sunday, March 12, 2006

3 in 1

Today I cried 3 times while watching 3 movies.

1) Brokeback Mountain at 4pm
2) Under the Tuscan Sun at 7pm
3) Something's Gotta Give at 830pm

Why are relationships so complicated ?

Sigh.....

Have also problem, don't have also a problem.

Anyway, these 3 movies are relationship related and they very much involve THAT special word but I will not say it loud . It starts with the letter "L"


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On a lighter note, as you all know, I am quite a Chinese auntie, I main-main sajer and did some reading on fengshui and this particular page interest me. It is about activating my peach blossom ( thou far) that is activating my romance luck.

So, I embarked on a journey to MidValley hunting for any kind of "leh bits". I came across a shop called "Hallmark" and I saw this really pretty soft toy. It was a rabbit. A Peter Rabbit. A very pretty rabbit. I scouted around the shop and saw more rabbits. So exciting. Oh boy, so many of them telling me ," cher cher, bring me home with you". Actually I am quite greedy. I wanted more than one lehbit. There was this particular letter holder that has SIX lehbits; just what I needed...the more the merrier. So, I had to forgo the soft toy and took the 6 in 1 letter holder. Now I have 6 cheeky rabbits sitting on my EAST direction and they so happen to be in front of ny desk. Not only lehbits do I have but also a pair of "yinyong" birds and the prettiest "mou tan farr" ALL out to help activate the peach blossom force.

May the Force be with me !

Nuts or what?

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Finally, to answer to where I went missing for those few days.

I have created another blog - mixedfriedvegetables.blogspot.com
This blog is entirely non humsap. I needed a lot of time to bring myself to the "normal" mode and it was difficult. I did this mainly for my baby. We would brainstorm together and sometimes I would ask her to draw something, anything that runs through her mind and I would use the pictures to create a story. Then the refinement takes place, all depending on my mood. So, I think, I really need more "lehbits" horr, to create a feel good mood for me to finish up a piece.

www.mixedfriedvegetables.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Back from the Crypt and to the Moon

While it is still fresh in my mind, I hope, I shall waste no time in reporting about last night's colourful event. While The Crazy Drinker is not in KL last night, I had the pleasure of "inviting" another crazier drinker whom I have not gone drinking with for ages. This person should be older than Ah Pek or Cocka but still, age has no barrier; if it clicks, it clicks. Right?

And so, our "expedition" started at 10pm at the Luna Bar with a cover charge of RM50. A little pricey but I guess it covers the KL skyline, so what the heck, you also pay for the trip 33 floors up. I must say , we were almost touching the stars and the moon....fly me to the moon.........

We walked a flight of stairs up to the bar , located at the rooftop and felt a mixture of warm breeze and humidity stinging our skin...oh no wonder....outdoor concept. Whoooaaa.....when we reached the last step, the swimming pool was an invitation to ....................my mind started to play humsap tricks on me, you know me la, always thinking beyond the normal people. I guess that was why so many bouncers were hired to keep everything and every BODY in order. With the right ambience, right company, "right" concoction of cocktail, right music, the the POOL is just right under your nose , it is very hard not to think crooked. Hot, hot, wet, wet, wild wild.......

So, my companion and I took to the bar. I had Whiskey Coke whilst my companion had Vodka Lime. We were feasting our eyes on sexy girls ( small longkang, big longkang, siew loong pao, yip chee mei pao) not-so-goodlooking men, KL night lights, nice music when the bar boy came talking to us. "AUNTIE....another round?" Fuiyo, luckily that wasn't addressed to me, it was to my godmother. Yes, my charming companion last night was my "khai ma" who qualifies for senior citizen status, a bloody good drinker ( Brandy) and a real sport. And so, our next round came... and again "AUNTIE, round ketiga?" I hantam the boys and said "bukan auntie la, kakak la". But yet everytime they came by,they would call her "auntie" out of respect. Last night was the only time I noticed khai ma did not ask for senior citizen privileges.

Anyway, I wanted to divert my usual consumption of whiskey to a more daring mixture . I had Cosmopolitan ( vodka, triple Sec, cranberry juice and lime juice, I think) in a Martinin glass and khai ma had gin tonic. Then came more drinks; a special Magarita from the bar boy especially to khai ma and another round of Cosmopolitan for me.. More bar boys came talking to us and somehow in the corner of my eyes I saw this MAN, this man with "yee phit kai"( moustache) , sitting on the other end of the bar who kept looking at us. The bar boys were talking to him, looking our way and he kept smiling and smiling , oh such cute boyish smile but at.....at......at.....KHAI MA! Geeeeessss..... tiu man, anti climax ! And I thought I caught a LIVE FISH! But of course, I am happy for Auntie Khai Ma because you see, she is still very much SINGLE AND AVAILABLE. And so the smiles and stealing glances at each other innocently across the bar went on for KHAI MA and Uncle Yee Phit Kai.

We asked the bar boy " saya macam pernah tengok kawan you. Dia kejer kat satu bukit nama Aman yer?" Aaahhh.......you know and I know who he is la. WHoaaa..not bad, my KHAI MA still has her senior citizen charms. He got up from his seat a few times to take a peek at us, no, sorry, I meant, at KHAI MA. I think he really wanted to take a big leap but duty calls. Thank god! I wouldn't have known what to say or do if he came over but then again, the attraction was between KHAI MA and HIM.

The next drink came..a shot called Illusions which was a concoction of vodka, midori, pineapple juice and limejuice, I think, because by now, I was flying to the moon, talking to the stars. Very nice COCKtail.

Our limelight was suddenly thrown off course by these 3 sexy chicks who just came and sat next to us. They were young, pretty and sexy. All 3 angels. All 3 took out their Salem Lights and the boys were hooked on them. They lit their cigarettes for the hotchicks and never took their eyes off them. Sigh....my ratings plummeted. Very sad for me but KHAI MA's guy was still very much loyal to her.....wakakakakakkaa.

Toilet calling me. The line was still very much straight. I could walk like a lady.

When I returned, the F & B manager treated the 3 chicks, and my KHAI MA to a special cocktail called Flaming Lamborghini which was a mixture of don't know what shit but nice. The concoction was in a Martini glass with 2 butter knife on the rim of the glass which was used to support the Galliano bottle. Those boys lit the tall Galliano bottle and the whole tower was lit in blue flames. Whilst the fire was still raging, KHAI MA , the 3 angels ( ironic because they were wearing white) and the manager sipped their potent drink . For some reason, KHAI MA couldn't finish her share so I WHACKED UP for her . NOt the end of the story YET. He, the manager, ordered another round of vodka,on the house, for us but we POLITELY DECLINED because I remembered reading Straymana's BJ ordeal with the "mata" a few days back. Hard to say "No" but....somethings you just have to let go. Time to go anyway.

Trit, trot, trit, trot...must walk a bit "gaya", with my tummy sucked in and catwalking in grace, we passed Mr.Yee Phit Kai. It was time for KHAI MA to say goodbye to him. We graciously told him," See you next week yer". Whoaa, you think he shiok and stim or not? I think he really had the hots for KHAI MA .

Not yet. In the lift, 2 Irish men started talking to HER. What the fuck did she do to attract such attention ah? I was only in the "supporting role".

And tonight's Oscar goes to ......................................none other than my very own KHAI MA.

Back from the crypt

My first day back from the crypt, I went to La Bodega with a crazy drinker on Wednesday and we had 2 rounds of Sangria and a round of Sex on the beach - a cocktail. Damn good to buka puasa.

Thursday nite was 4 shots of my usual Chivas and tonight, oh boy, I just got back from Luna Bar at Menara PanGlobal and I had one shot of whiskey coke, 2 shots of Cosmopolitan, one shot of Illusions and half shot of Flaming Lamborghini. Managed to get home and blog now but I do not think I will last long. So far, there is no typing error YET.

Aiyo, suddenly, "zhou gong" is calling me. I think I need to go talk with him and ask for 4D tips for besok. Need to focus on my conversation with "him". I shall leave you in suspence and siaran akan lanjut besok.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Siaran Tergendala

I received an urgent telegram this morning, from scb. After having had Sex on The Beach two nights ago, she finally manage to unclogged her system and reduce her mancang-ness. Unfortunately this remedy, as all other quick fixes are not without a side effects.

Every now and then she will discharge a tremendous amount of orgasmic energy. As she is still green - green like the X-men apprentice not green like incredible hulk, she has not not been able to master the skill of discharging the excessive energy at the appropriate time and amount. During one of this energy discharge episode, she was in a very close proximity with Ah Fuu. The tremendous excessive amount of energy was accidently channeled to Ah Fuu and in turn flowed into Ah Fuu's charger. Ah Fuu's charger just couldn't handle this excessive amount of sexual energy and got fried. Due to that unfortunate event, she won't be able to update this blog until her hunt for Ah Fuu's charger replacement is fruitful.

As she is very concern about her fansi, and do not want them to turn into another siao cha bor or siao cha porr (and steals her limelight), so she has asked me to convey this message to all her fansi.

Let's have a 5 seconds silent to mourn the passing away of her Ah Fuu's charger and pray that she will manage to hunt down a new replacement ASAP.
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rAmen!

Monday, March 06, 2006

Remote Control Button "Pause"

Errmm.....announcement...announcement !

Gua, Ah Siao che che will not be posting for a while . A while means I dunno how many days or hours but it won't exceed weeks la, I hope. I shall leave this comment box open to whoever who wants to pour your heart out to Kakak Siao.

Nothing personal is bothering me except for MEN, as usual....wakkakakaa.

Nevertheless, I shall continue to visit your blogs.

I am in the midst of brainstorming and hope I can get this small piece of work done soon.

I shall return; I won't be long.

Patience!



Love,
Kakak Siao

Friday, March 03, 2006

It's Cumming, I Can Feel It

Did not really want to write a post tonight but someone just "inspired" me . I shall make this a very short and painless reading. And as for today's lunch, the case is closed and sealed. I shall not talk and sulk over it. It went ok because my eyes were feasting on the other male patrons in the restaurant so, no time to talk. Moreover, there was always someone monopolising the event, so I merely ate and let my eyes wander off.

The lunch took place at one of my favourite eating place. Tapas and sangria.

Hard for me to resist a sangria. Very hard but I resisted. I need to get well, fully recharged and build up my resistance before I hit the limelight again. My debut will hopefully be next weekend where I can have a taste of my first drink again since 3 weeks. Damn, 3 fucking weeks is a fucking long time for me. I am counting my days now. One more week before I am "released" ....ooooo..hoooo

Thursday, March 02, 2006

3 more hours encounting now

The time now is 9.30am. I have exactly 3 more hours to the reunion lunch. I don't feel scared, at least not now. Oh shucks, what am I doing here, blogging at this hour? Teruknya. It's like pouring my soul to my "shrink" ( please do not be offended if one of your readers is a shrink).

Anyway, I did something kinda wicked this morning. I texted N and asked if she needed retail therapy before lunch. Gladly she accepted the invitation but little does she know that I will not be buying. Oooo.....she is going to do her retail therapy while I watch. Corny?

Not yet. Her money going out = my retail therapy. Nyakakakakka........that's what friends are for, right? I help her spend her money to ease her stress; she helps me relax by allowing me to "accompany" her shopping.

Now, that's what I call good friends !

Let's see how much she spends today?
$
$
$
$
Oh, please don't let me succumb to temptation
$
$
$
$
and me ending up
$
$
$
$
buying the whole store instead, oh no, maybe I can feast my eyes on guys while she shops?
$
$
$
$
Just for curiosity sake, what do men buy for their retail therapy besides sex toys ( which I know some of you would say) ?

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

To my Baby




She is sensitive, caring and a joy to have.
Seeing her grow each day reminds me of how much I have achieved.
It is not easy but rewarding.
So far, so good.
It is a long journey; some roads are bumpy, some are windy but some are smooth.
She is a reflection of me.
People call her mini Siao Cha Bor.
She is sensitive to other people's needs and feelings.
Whenever she makes me angry, she would write me mini notes to say " Sorry mom"
and the following note would be
"I love you mummy, you think I can have ice cream?
Little notes like this douse the fire in me.

The most adorable is whenever we go out, she would "fish".
Yes, "fish" for a boyfriend for her mother.
However, her taste is LOUSY.
She likes Wang Lee Hom, F4, Noodle from Gorillaz, the 4 chaps from Il Divo.
So, can you imagine what kind of guy she chooses for me?
I think she is choosing for herself!

Today, when we were in the lift, there were 4 of us.
2 male strangers and us.
She was smiling sheepishly at me.
" I know what is in your mind", I said.
When the men stepped out of the lift, she asked,
"So, do you think he can be your boyfriend?"
We stared at each other and laughed our lungs out.
She not only is my baby but my best friend too.

Tonight is girl's night.
Dinner would be candle lit,
Homemade wanton noodle and fishball soup as main course
and ice cream for dessert.

My duty is to nurture her.
But it never occured to me that she is an inspiration, a "teacher" to me.
She teaches me computer, she tells me about Hellen Keller, Monet, SpongeBob and Teen Titans.
I, not wanting to be leftout can also tell her about Kim Possible, Lilo & Stitch and my favourite,Monster Inc.

Though we do have our ups and downs and disagreements,
We never fail to say "Sorry" to each other after a bad moment.
We always end up with a warm, big hug
which we learn in "Teletubbies"

Baby, no matter what, I shall always be here for you.

Mom