Today I want to "fatt ngap foong", can ah?
Monday...nearly got killed by a car. Fucking Ah Beng drove the car like going to "reincarnate" or more like going to have a premature ejaculation. About to cross the road, a blue wira swerved into a parking bay a la Starsky and Hutch style. Fast, furious, reckless. The kiasu driver sped at top speed just to secure the empty bay,fearing it would be occupied. At that moment also, I stepped foot onto the road. Maybe a nanosecond may have created history for me. You all may have to burn a laptop, printer, digital camera and burn your comments to me.
Nevermind. But, there was a puddle of dirty water aaaaaannnnnnd....."splash" . Yes, onto me. Knowing me, a fighter cock, I was just about to open my mouth and scold "niaseng" but thank god, I didn't. There were 4 samsengs in the car and I wouldnt want to know the consequences of me telling them off.
Nevermind. Chill. Haaa...haaa...fooooo....again.....haaaa.....haaaaa....fooooo
Don't want unsightly crows feet.
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday!
Nothing special on Tuesday.
Ah Yat, my modem needed medical aid. Sigh...$$$$$$$
(Ah Fuu is my laptop, Ah Kwai is my mobile, Ah Yat , my modem)
Yesterday , another "tuulun" day. It started with the morning jam at 8am from Hartamas to Jalan Parlimen.
In front of me was a couple in a white proton wira.
From my windscreen I observe the girl keep bending towards the guy's lap and wild thoughts came across my mind. You know why I have these wild thoughts and why I am so "tuulun" with them?
Here is why : their car kept making jerking stops, braking inconsistently, forcing me to take pseudo emergency brakes all the way and the sight of that fucking bitch "bongkok" over his lap, please excuse me for harbouring such ill and wild thoughts. Here is what I thought.
girl : darling ah, you wan blow blow? ( she bending , leaning whole face on his lap)
the traffic so long, come, come, i blow ah
guy : yes...yes...ooooo ( jerk the car, move, brakes, stop, jerk, stop)
KNN....no...Kaan Nee Neh !
Fucking go blow in the dark while driving along the highway la...don't blow for the whole world
to see in the morning la.
girl : ey, you got pimple la...come, let me squeeze...(she leans towards his cheek and press the
pimple and sayang sayang his face then lean on his lap again)
guy :( car jerk,jerk, jerk.....)
By this time, I was very mad . To put harm on the road is inconsiderate. To show off him getting a blow in the morning...well....young man...go jerk in the cinema or in the bush la.
I , so, so buoy tahan liao. I also need to release my tension.
Then came along a nice black car at the next lane. Of course, my eyes wandered. Mmmm....nice guy. I looked at him. Hey, it is free...why not. So, feast my eyes. He feasted too.
Nevermind. Look la, for all I care. He went pass me. I thought it was sayonnara. But, I caught up. This time, we both checked each other out again. Well, no harm, right. So, I waved at him and gave him a smile.
Aaahh....I have released my tension also. No need blow...no need play tofu...no need angry...no need jerk. A smile at a stranger will do, won't it?